DEAR CHARITY

Part 3

Dear Charity,

I can’t tell you how totally thrilled I was to hear from you.  And I really, really hope that it didn’t sound like I was haranguing you to write back when I sent you those texts.  I debated and debated about sending them, but I thought maybe it would be better for you to think I’m a little on the naggy side than for you to think I was like so many others in your life and I had dropped you like a hot lead brick when the going got tough.  I know I said in my first email when we started this that I understand how life sometimes gets in the way of doing things like responding to the emails of a somewhat nutter of a friend, and I still absolutely do.  I think, though (and please feel free to correct me if I’m way off here), that you got why I texted.  On my best days I know that God provides what we need when we need it, but I do wish I could be there in person for you so that you would have tangible proof that you are not alone.  Until He provides a way for that to happen, however, we’ll just keep doing what we’re doing, yeah?  I know it might not help much, but I am praying that it gives you at least a little bit of a respite from the darkness you’re in right now.

Truth.  It feels a wee bit — okay, no, a lot bit off to keep talking about Job and his questionable friends at the moment, and I know you said you very much wanted to keep going, but I gotta say that I feel like maybe something not quite so heavy might do better for you.  Then I remind myself of what I said in my last email about so many of us wanting to sprint through the valley and I think you’re more wise than I am in your determination to see this through with Job.  So, with that said...

The one thing that really stands out to me as we turn into the home stretch as far as what Job and his friends say is that the gloves definitely come off.  At first I was only gonna comment about how it’s that way with the three friends, but I think the same is true for Job, and I’ll get to him in a minute.  Instead of trying to sound all eloquent and refined, it seems that the three friends have finally had it with Job and they just let loose.  Well, at least it seems that way for Zophar and Eliphaz.  Bildad almost seems to have run out of steam by the time he says his last bit.

Zophar finally speaks truth when he says that he’s talking out of his insulted feelings and that it’s only his human spirit of understanding that he shares as he continues to rip his friend to shreds.  Glad he’s finally self-aware enough to recognize that!  [Oops, there’s that sarcasm elf again...]

It’s the final words of Eliphaz that make me want to, well, do something that’s pretty much the opposite of turning the other cheek.  What could this guy possibly have been thinking???  “You know that your wickedness is great, and that your iniquities have no limit.”  SERIOUSLY?!?  Okay, so this guy was supposed to be a friend, which means, I would hope, that he knew what kind of a guy Job was, which also means that he knew that the things he accused Job of were absolutely NOT TRUE!  I mean, come on.  Not only does he completely ignore Job’s pain and agony, pretty much ignoring everything except being right in his own eyes, but then he straight up spits out blatant lies about Job!  I...wow...I can’t even...the words won’t...HOW COULD HE EVEN HAVE THE CHUTZPAH TO CALL HIMSELF A FRIEND?!?!?

Whoo.  Sorry about that.  Got a tad steamed.  The presumption on Eliphaz’s part to then go on and try to instruct Job on how to regain God’s favor...yeah, I just better not even try to go there or I might make your computer start smoking.  I can’t help but wonder if Job’s torment would have lasted as long without his “friends” trying to “comfort” him.  Well, suffice it to say that my response would probably have been much more heated than Job’s, as well as a whole lot more wordy.  It was the mark of a man of true restraint that he settled with a simple, “Why then do you offer me empty consolation?  Of your replies only the deliberate breach of trust remains.”  Hmmmmm...now that I think of it, that’s actually fairly pointed.  He basically called them out for their treachery in completely betraying his trust that they would be there for him as friends should.

Along with telling his friends that, as far as being friends goes, they stink like rotten eggs, Job absolutely refutes every word Zophar and Eliphaz say, declaring that rather than being justly punished by God as they claim, God in actuality allows the wicked flourish and prosper, then die in sweet, sweet peace while at the same time punishing the upright.  He seems to say that he thinks God treats human beings out of nothing more than a whim of the moment, not valuing them or seeing them as anything more than nameless playthings that are a dime a dozen (“...He has many more such at His disposal” — Job 23:14).  He also calls God out on seeming to ignore the cries of the suffering (Job 24:12).  Basically, Job accuses God of being anything but loving.  He’s just like how the pagans see their gods — fickle, unpredictable, and cruel-hearted.

You gotta hand it to Job.  His friends absolutely should have just shut it waaaaay sooner than they did, but no, they refused to lay off, and yet Job stuck to his guns and refused to give anything they said any credence.  He even said that if he were to agree with them, he would be speaking lies.  Even in the face of their extreme harassment and yeah, downright abuse, he simply would NOT give in.

The interesting thing is that in the rest of chapter 26 through the end of chapter 28, Job pretty much says the same thing as the three friends, but the difference is that while they were insisting on him being wicked and receiving God’s justice, Job was saying that God does give the wicked what they deserve, it’s just that he doesn’t deserve to be lumped in with them.  He ends chapter 28 with this super eloquent treatise on wisdom and recognizes that wisdom resides with God alone.

So again, there’s no sense at all that Job doesn’t have a keen grasp on the nature of God and his own position in relation to God.  That was really never his argument.  It’s always been about God depriving him of true justice.  It’s always been about him working so hard to do right and God suddenly and without reason completely crushing him.

Job finally lays it all out in one last push, and you kind of get the sense that he’s feeling like this is it.  His strength is almost gone, he’s had to deal not only with incomprehensible torment at the hand of God but also with the seemingly endless persecution of his so-called friends.  He’s done.  Still, though, he wants to make sure that if God is listening, there’s no mistaking how he feels about Him.  He desperately longs for a return to the days of God’s favor when his standing among men was one of honor and his life was untroubled.  He has been unjustly punished by God for offenses he doesn’t think he committed.  By his own account, he is as blameless and upright as God declared him to be and he has zero understanding of why God has suddenly turned into his enemy.  He longs with every fiber of his being to speak to God and present his case.

I don’t know about you, but I gotta say, as I read all Job’s words I really get the sense that while he has been scrupulous about following the commandments of God, his actions don’t necessarily spring from a place of love.  It doesn’t even appear that he understands the heart of God.  I think his words from chapter 23 are pretty telling in terms of how he saw God:

If I go east, He is not there;

if west, I can’t find Him;

He works to the north, but I can’t see Him.

He turns south, but I can’t catch a glimpse of Him.

But He knows the way that I take.

When He has tried me, I will come out like gold.

My foot has held fast to His steps.

I have kept His way, and not turned away.

I haven’t gone back from the commandment of His lips.

I have treasured up the words of His mouth more than my necessary food.

The words sound super similar, but I see that as such a different perspective than David’s when he wrote Psalm 139.  David said that God knew every word before it even escaped his lips, that no matter where he went, God was there.  What makes the words different?  Well, the way I hear them, it totally sounds like David was speaking from a heart that had a strong relationship with God and actually knew Him.  With Job, I hear something entirely different.  There’s obedience, there are good deeds, but they seem to be inspired by something other than love.

I clothed myself in righteousness

and it robed me;

justice was my cloak and turban.

No doubt about it, Job had incredible integrity.  He was moral and ethical for sure.  But I don’t know, I just never feel like he’s got much compassion.  There’s simply the rightness of his actions, know what I mean?  When he says that he will come out like gold after God tries him, I don’t hear that as a beautiful assurance from the heart of a man who knows God is good and will always do what’s best for him.  It’s more like he’s saying, “See, if God would just take the time to try my case, He would see that I am in the right and He was mistaken to inflict all this misery on me.”  That’s just not the same as David declaring, “It was You who created my conscience; You fashioned me in my mother’s womb.  I praise You, for I am awesomely, wondrously made; Your work is wonderful; I know it very well.”

Now, God calling Job blameless and upright is obviously true because God doesn’t lie, but I’m thinking maybe there’s more to kingdom living than being blameless and upright.  Obviously not saying those qualities aren’t good and desirable, but yeah, unless they’re married with love and compassion, maybe, just maybe, they’re…not quite everything.

I just read the last few paragraphs I wrote and I realized how they might sound to you, so something I want to emphasize in the most emphatic way possible (and maybe I should have started with this) is that not every single word in the Bible is meant to speak to your exact situation every second of your life.  What I mean is that a lot of people have been taught that every time you open the Bible, you need to take to heart and apply every word you read.  But here’s the thing, and bear with me here, God never intended that you should hear every thought as if He was speaking directly to you.  That’s why the Bible has 66 books written by a wide variety of people.  There will be some things that speak to your situation at certain times, and at other times, you’ll get a ton out of words that meant almost nothing to you the last time you read them.  Please don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying that the Bible doesn’t have something to say to each and every person in each and every situation they find themselves in.  That’s not it at all.  I guess I’m just trying to help you avoid one of the most deadly traps I found myself in for so, so many years.  I would read things like what James says about grieving and mourning and weeping and turning my laughter into mourning and my joy into gloom and I would think, “Man, I’ve been getting it wrong all this time.  God wants me to be miserable, right?”  Not even close.  James was writing to a very specific set of people about a very specific set of issues, namely that they were tipping way too far into the belief that they could live however they wanted, that they could look exactly like the world and God would still be thrilled to have them in His family.  And if that had been my problem when I read that, then yeah, I absolutely would need to take it to heart and deal with whatever was going on.  But what if I was following hard after God and I read that?  Would God still want me to turn my laughter into mourning and my joy into gloom?  Not on your life.

That was a rather long-winded and possibly unnecessary way to say that I hope it didn’t sound like I was trying to tell you that the reason you’ve had to deal with all the things you’re going through is because you don’t love God or that you don’t know Him very well.  Just because you and I can identify so deeply with a lot of what Job said doesn’t mean that our hearts are in the same place as his was.  I know where God has been leading me, and as I said before, I suspect that our paths are parallel, so I can say with confidence that I really don’t think your situation mirrors Job’s in that respect.

What I think does ring with truth for both of us is also the thing that I see as Job’s complaint boiled down into one sentence:

I cry out to You, but You do not answer me;

I wait, but You do not consider me.

That’s really it, don’t you think?  There have been so very many times in my life where I have wailed and howled to God and man but if it didn’t feel like all I got was the back of His head at best, the back of His hand at worst.  And then I think about certain people in my life whose lives seem absolutely untroubled by their actions while I’m over here feeling like the weight of what they’ve done is crushing the life and breath out of me.  And God says nothing, does nothing.

My dear friend, I won’t insult you by ending this email with some overly simplistic platitudes about hope or trust in Jesus.  I know where you’re at and I know the darkness you’re dwelling in with an intimacy I wish with every atom of my being that I had no knowledge of.  I know what you’re fighting and I know what you’ve had to do just to remain in the land of the living.  I know it seems like every day is nothing more than one more day to live a slow, suffocating death and it feels like you’ll never make it to the other side.  No words can truly do justice to your agony.  I don’t know that anything I could possibly say will help you bear your burden, but I will say this:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I AM FIGHTING EVERY BATTLE RIGHT ALONGSIDE YOU.

I HONOR YOUR PAIN WITH MY TEARS

AND I HOLD YOUR ANGUISH IN MY HEART WITH REVERENCE.

With Compassion,

Beth